Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I have not blogged in a while, not because I have not wanted to but because progress has been slow. If i had it my way we would have had Iryna home yesterday but we continue to work very hard at getting her here. I have been thinking so much about adoption. When you set out to adopt I think regardless of what we/you hear your mind defaults to fairytale like thinking. You envision a homecoming and family that just melts together. You romanticize how perfect and sweet life will be with your child. I think it is so important though to try to keep perspective. When you do not do this you can be setting unrealistic expectations and the chance for a big fall. The truth is these children have been devoid of so much in life. They haven't had all the constants that are in most children's lives. They have gone through so much virtually alone. They have endured illness, lonliness, pain, even achievements all alone. They have not had a mom or dad to awe in amazement at there little accomplishments, to hold them when there hurt or sick. They have faced a cold hard world on there own and why should they trust anyone at this point. So it is a process to learn to be loved, to be in a family, and to know without a shadow of a doubt that there will be some constant in there lives, someone who will always be there for them. They may not just "love" us the minute they meet us. This type of love and bonding takes time and committment. You need to take a deep look and understanding of just what they have been through, what may have been a mountain of hurt and dissapointment in there little lives. So as we wait I try to keep this at the forefront, to know Iryna has already endured more than I can imagine. To know that it will take her time, and to give her and us all the time that it takes in this world to grow as a family.
I also had someone recently tell me it won't really make a difference adoptiong Iryna, there are millions of children waiting. Well let me tell you, to try to explain this to someone who just does not get it is very hard. How can you even begin to measure the worth on one person's life, there is no measurement. This will make all the difference in her life, in her world and in our world. If everyone thought that way would the millions of children home with there families even be there. Without going in to an extremely lengthy posting I can not even begin to tell you how deep my feelings are on this. To say the very least I feel so fortunate, so blessed about Iryna joining our family. How lucky and fortunate we will be.


  1. I'm sorry things are moving slow for you guys. I'm praying for you! Let me know if you want to get together. We can figure out some ways to fundraise! I'm happy to help out!

  2. Hello,
    I just read of your loss on the RR board. I am so sorry for your broken heart. I have 2 adopted daughters so I can imagine what you must be feeling. I was wondering if you had ever heard of Rainbow Kids International? It is a nationwide listing of waiting children from around the world. Most are special needs kids but some are listed that way just because of age. Since you have a lot of the paperwork behind you, I would think the process for adoption of one of these children would go fairly quickly. You should take all the time you need to grieve your loss, but I don't believe that God would bring you this far to close the door. There are so many kids on that list and your family seems to have an abundance of love to give. Pray for wisdom and discernment. He promises to give it if we ask:)